Two-fer Tuesday

This goes in the customs news of the weird category:

Customs and Border Protection stopped a driver on the southern border attempting to illegally enter a U-Haul full of cheese and two parrots. Upon being pulled over for secondary inspection, the driver readily confessed to smuggling the merchandise. One must wonder (at least I must), if the two categories of contraband are somehow related? Do the birds like the cheese? Were the parrots destined to become part of some nasty domestic bird pannini ? We can only hope the Department of Agriculture tells us the details.

This goes in the category of proof that I may not be that bright:

I have not been on my bike in a while, a long while. Recently, I bought a new trainer so I can pedal in my basement through the dark and cold winter. Two nights ago I decided it was time to get on the bike. That's smart. The not-so-smart part is that I made that decision immediately after dinner, which consisted of a burrito and (uncharacteristically) a beer. As you might imagine, no personal bests were accomplished.

Also showing my lack of common sense, I have had a self-inflicted bad eggnog experience. I like eggnog. This is not exactly a product I grew up drinking and my experience is limited mainly to grocery store nog of the cardboard carton variety and an exceedingly potent version made by a law school professor of mine. Either way, I like the stuff. The problem is, store bought eggnog is not good for you. Even the "lite" variety is not a particularly healthy choice. Thus, I was happy to discover soy nog ("snog?") in my grocery store. A comparison of the nutrition labels indicated it is a healthier choice. To save you all aggravation and disappointment, let it be known that soy nog stinks. The stuff has the consistency of milk and very little taste. Here is confirmation in a Slate article, although my offending nog is of a different brand. Don't say I did not warn you.

On the other hand, these people seem to like it for those same reasons.


Anonymous said…
Just goes to prove that anything billed as "healthy alternative" can't possibly taste good.
Anonymous said…
Re the smuggling, it's obvious the birds were running the operation, and they have sophisticated palates, of the "polly-wanna-a- cracker-and-cheese" variety. The heisted Chardonnay and baguettes were apparently in the trailer that wasn't stopped.

Re basement rollers, I did it only briefly many years ago, but it seemed like a depressing facsimile of the real thing (face it -- on the road, the burrito and beer would have been "premium fuel"). Good luck.

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